Sensible Madness

Once again, there was famine in the land. All these famines had to make Isaac wonder if God was doing him a favor promising him this particular land, but rather than complain about it he just decided to go mooch off the Egyptians like his father had. Unfortunately, God showed up and told him not to go down to Egypt, but rather to go mooch off Abimelech instead.

So it came to pass that Isaac went down to Gerar, where he was hassled by some bullies who wanted his lunch money and his wife. Not wanting to be killed, he followed in his father’s footsteps and told these men Rebekah was his sister, not his wife.

Of course Abimelech was not about to get plagued again, and demanded to know what Isaac’s game was with claiming his wife was his sister just like his shiftless father had. Isaac whined that he didn’t want to die, so Abimelech told all his people not to touch Isaac’s wife, because he really was in no mood to deal with a bunch of women who couldn’t have kids again.

Isaac spent a bunch of time in Abimelech’s land, and became ridiculously rich, which made all his neighbors jealous. In retaliation, the Philistines filled all the wells Isaac had dug with dirt. Eventually, Abimelech told him he was too rich to be hanging out there, so if he could bugger off, that would be just great.

So Isaac wandered off and started digging wells in various other locations. Unfortunately for him, every time he dug a well some group of ruffians would show up to take it from him. Eventually, everyone that wanted a well had gotten one courtesy of Isaac, and he was finally able to dig a well and keep it for himself.

Since he had finally found a well that no one else wanted, Isaac made the logical choice and left it in order to go back to Beersheba and hang out with God for a while. God spent some time repeating the same old promises he had made to Abraham, and Isaac built an altar and dug yet another well.

Seeing that Isaac was God’s favorite (sort of a “deity’s pet”), Abimelech and several of his men went to visit him and kiss a little ass. After a feast and a good night’s rest, Isaac sent them on their way.

Also, Esau took on two wives, which Isaac and Rebekah were none too pleased with. While the Bible doesn’t say so, we can assume Isaac was primarily pissed off because he hadn’t thought of the whole multiple wives thing first.