Abraham, apparently never content to stay in one place for long, went off to the land of Gerar. As was becoming something of a habit for him at this point, he gave his wife over to the king (Abimelech) so that he could ravish her while Abraham went off and did his thing. In order to grease the wheels of love, he told the king Sarah was his sister, not his wife, so don’t feel guilty about it or anything. God shows up in Abimelech’s bedroom and threatens to kill him for sleeping with a woman he was told to sleep with. Luckily for Abimelech, Sarah was a nasty old troll and he had run out of Viagra that morning, so he hadn’t actually done the deed yet. Appeased, God tells Abimelech to give Abraham back his wife, and in return no one would be killed.
Abimelech goes to lecture Abraham about why you shouldn’t go around encouraging people to sleep with your wife. Abraham, always a quick thinker, tells Abimelech that he didn’t actually lie per se, since Sarah was, in addition to being his wife, also his half sister. So if you think about it, it was really Abimelech’s fault for just assuming that just because someone offers you his sister to get down with, that must mean that sister isn’t also his wife.
For some crazy reason, Abimelech accepts Abraham’s explanation and gives him a bunch of money, livestock, and slaves to go away. Abraham, satisfied that the extortion had worked nicely, prayed to God to remove the curse over Abimelech’s house and let his women bear children again. Oh, did I mention that God had prevented all the women in the vicinity from having children because of the whole deal with Abimelech and Sarah? Well, he did. The Bible likes to leave these minor details to the end sometimes.
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