So it came to pass that God went to Abram and told him that he needed to leave Harad and go to some other place, to be determined later. In return, God promised to make Abram’s offspring great and powerful, which had to be a little bit of a slap in the face to Abram, given that his wife was incapable of baby making.
Despite the whole barren wife thing, Abram decided to listen to God, and took off for greener pastures with his wife and Lot, who has to come along because he has a key plot point in a later chapter (foreshadowing!). He found a mountain, built an altar, and kept on walking.
Unfortunately for Abram, there was a great famine on the land, and he was forced to find some rich folk to beg from. Fortunately for him, he was close to Egypt, which was ruled by the Pharaoh, who was about as rich as you could get back then.
Since Abram saw that his wife was a hotty, and also because he didn’t necessarily want to shut himself off from any choice Egyptian poontang, he told his wife to pretend like she was his sister. This she dutifully did, and was immediately taken to the Pharaoh’s house for a little bouncy bouncy. For the privilege of boning his sister, Pharaoh gave Abram lots of livestock and food. Unfortunately for him, God wasn’t too happy about this arrangement, and started plaguing the hell out of poor Pharaoh. Pharaoh, not knowing what else to do, kicked Abram and Sarai out of his kingdom. From then on, Pharaoh and the Jews lived in perfect harmony…or did they? (foreshadowing again!)
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