Sensible Madness

Eventually, the people of Israel got tired of living in Sin (ba dum, tish), packed up, and traveled to Rephidim. Unfortunately for them, there was no water there, and everyone got very thirsty.

The Israelites left Elim, and continued their journey toward the promised land. After 2 and a half months of wandering aimlessly, they arrived at the wilderness of Sin, which one would have to take as something of a bad omen.

Moses and the other Israelites got together and sang a song about how great God was, to celebrate the wholesale slaughter of Egyptians they had just witnessed. One can assume the original song rhymed in ancient Hebrew, but it doesn't rhyme in 17th century English. We can only assume this means 17th century English monks were lazy bastards, as is the author of this work. Anyway, the song went something like this:

So after saving everyone's ass, God came to Moses and told him that he wasn't quite done beating on Pharaoh yet, so he had a plan: Moses was to get the Israelites to camp out in an area nearby, but backed up against the sea. This would make Pharaoh believe the Israelites were cornered, and with the help of God's heart-hardening, make him want to go after the Israelites. Then, God would spring his trap, Pharaoh would be royally screwed, and all the Egyptians would worship God like he'd been trying to get them to do this whole time.

God, not quite done harping on this whole Passover thing, told Moses that the Israelites must sanctify all firstborn children, both of men and of animals, to God. All of them, God said, belong to me.

And so Moses went out to talk to the Israelites, and repeated much of what God had said to him. He told them that God really couldn't stand leavened bread, and no one was allowed to eat any of it. If anyone complained, they should just think about how God just saved their sorry asses from Egypt and shut the hell up.

It's been brought to my attention that the captcha image has often not worked very well (or at all) since I upgraded the module for it several days ago. I've done some fiddling with the fonts on it, and hopefully fixed the issue.

If you continue to have issues with the contact or account signup forms (the captchas, specifically), please let me know via admin@sensiblemadness.com.

Also, we'll have another chapter up soon. Pinky swear.

Deciding Moses and Aaron still weren’t suitably impressed by the sheer awesomeness of what God was about to do, he pulled them aside and explained, at great length, what was about to happen.

God, deciding that it was time for the big climax, told Moses that he would be smiting the Egyptians with one last plague, which he affectionately referred to as "the mother of all plagues".

God told Moses that he had once again pissed Pharaoh off enough that he would never let the Israelites go, so it was time for Moses to go in and threaten some more plaguing so God could kick a little more ass. This time, God noted, he would plague the Egyptians so hard that their grandchildren would feel it.

It strikes me that newcomers to this site may not really understand what I'm trying to accomplish here, so this post is an attempt to explain.